Jesse the Token Homosexual (dragonabsolut) wrote,
Jesse the Token Homosexual

little blessings.

I've decided for my own sanity, maybe I'd start writing a little bit more often in my journal.

I have a little thank you due to the Universe today.

I have been a bit worried about my health lately. I recently had some pretty rough back pains and after 4 days of no relief, I went to the doctor. They confirmed that it was simply a distressed muscle issue, and there were no serious problems. They prescribed something for the pain, and a muscle relaxer, but I never bothered filling either. I don't always like using pain killers. Basically, I just continued to try to take very tender care of my back, and the pain receded after a couple more days.

The larger issue that day became my weight. I stepped on the scale, and hit 498 pounds. Ouch. I don't usually tell people my weight, cuz really, whats in a number? But to be honest, I've never weighed this much. That was easily a 60 increase in the last six months. It was scary.

In all honesty, this last 6 months I have been out of work, and just not very active. When its cold and wet outside, I have a tendency to hibernate. But I wasn't even getting the benefit of being up and about all day at work... So the weight increase isn't exactly a surprise, but it was an effective shock. Since then, I've been trying to be very diligent about changing the way I look at food, my own eating habits, and exercise. I also started seeing a doctor. They did a bunch of blood work last week to see what's up with my body these days.

Well, I am happy and a bit surprised to report that I'm reasonably healthy. My biggest worries would be diabetes, hiv, dangerously high blood pressure and cholesterol. And I clean-swept all of them. Blessed Gods, thank you for that. My BP and my cholesterol levels are only a little high, nothing that I don't have every opportunity to keep down if I keep eating smarter, and taking care of my body. HIV-, and some reasonably healthy blood-sugar levels. And diabetes, I'm in early pre-stages, but again, at levels that, if I keep with a healthier mindset, I can control it and be safe from that particular way to go.

It really has been a little scary for me, with the sad passing of Davied, Joe Jo and Chris so recently. Death has been on my mind. And I'm not ready to move on yet. I'd like to be here for a little while. There are still sad people out there who need a smile, and I would like to continue in my mission to make the world a little happier before I leave.

So, the starting point is always the Self, right? I really want do dedicate myself TO myself, and treat myself with the same kind of love and healthy living I want to give all those others I want to help.

*sigh* Just breathe.
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